This is a Story. Now mind you, this is no ordinary story. No. This story may very well be the best story that you will ever have the pleasure of reading. And I’m going to tell you right of the bat, that there are absolutely no clichés in this entire story; It’s that good. I wouldn’t be surprised if you go crying to your great aunt Bertha about how heart wrenchingly symbolic the ending to this story was for you. How you spent the last year in a library, night after night, injecting Monsters and Adderall into your body, trying to figure out the meaning to it all…. And in turn the meaning to your very own existence on this planet! But I digress. I don’t want to give away the surprise.
All right, onto The Story.
Charles was an ordinary man. He was married to an ordinary woman and they had three ordinary children together. Charles also worked in an ordinary office where he would push buttons on an ordinary keyboard. There was a screen next to the keyboard where commands would blink across it telling him what buttons to push and when to push them. You could say that his life was Ordinary. That is…until one day, when something very unordinary happened to him.
It was around 3:00 in the afternoon. Charles was relentlessly pushing the buttons as the commands flew across the screen in front of him. But all of a sudden the screen went black. Charles froze, this has never happened in all the years he has worked at the company. His heart started beating. What was he supposed to do? Would his boss fire him? Would his ordinary wife be disappointed with him? Charles got up from his desk to look around and see what…
“Where is that that voice coming from? Is somebody there?” Charles questioned blankly.
He was obviously confused because there was absolutely nobody in the office, and therefore no voice from anything. But as I was saying, Charles got up from his desk and…
“I’m not confused. And how do you know my name? Who are you?”
Charles was still sitting in his chair talking to himself instead of getting up from his desk. If any of his co-workers were to walk into his office right now, he would look like a madman.
“I didn’t think we had speakers in the office. Strange. I guess I should go see if Jim know what’s going on.” Charles said.
Charles then got up from his desk like he was suppose to and the story went back on track. He left the office and started walking down the hallway. But something was strange; all of his co-workers were gone! “This could not get any worse” Charles thought…
“I’m not thinking that.” Charles said stupidly. “They’re probably out at lunch or something, Geeze!”
He couldn’t even be bothered to wonder Why his co-workers were gone. But it doesn’t matter, Charles continued down the hallway until he came to a room with two doors…
“I’m wondering why there’s a voice talking about me…its kind of creeping me out…and why is nobody here? Guys? Hey! Anybody?”
Charles stopped in the room and looked at both doors. One was Red, the other was Blue. Charles decided to take the Red door, so he….
“Well what if I take the blue one instead? I’ve never even seen these doors before, what the hell is going on? You know what? Screw it! I’m taking the blue door!”
Charles bluntly decided to ignore the narrative of The Story and instead decided to take the Blue door, but luckily there was another Red door at the end of the hallway that Charles had walked into, so he pumped up his rosy red cheeks and walked into…
“What the hell is going on? Guys are you doing this? You got me.. I’m freaking out! Who are you! Stop narrating everything I’m doing!”
Charles was panicking about a voice he was hearing inside of his head instead of following the narrative of the story! He obviously never finished elementary school. The other children must have made fun of him for hearing things. (Ugh I’m so sorry. This was never the way it was suppose to happen. Usually it goes much more smoothly, but some people refuse to follow instructions!) Now then, Charles realized that the voice he was hearing was just his imagination and he walked through the Red door to see a blazing white light. Upon closer inspection it appeared that the light was coming from a strange rotating object made out of shimmering crystals! He wanted to touch one so he stepped closer and…
“Fuck. This. I’m done! Shimmering Crystals? Seriously man, how are you doing this?
Charles must be overworked. The horrible stress of his “Job” pushing buttons all day must be getting to him. He is also very stupid, and he has an ugly face. He is continuing to not follow the narrative of The Story and instead, standing in the middle of his company’s office at 4:30 in the afternoon doing absolutely nothing interesting! He must feel like he is somehow independent from the inevitable narrative.
“I am independent buddy, I’m a god damn human being. Look at this, I won’t touch those weird crystals, I’m walking away. LEAVE ME ALONE!”
Charles should turn around and go back into the room with the crystals, because if he doesn’t continue The Story, something horrible might happen to that ordinary wife of his. She could have a heart attack. Or she might end up on a plane to Somalia and then spend the next five years fighting for her survival against bandits and pirates …with only a tiny pebble for protection. So Charles should pucker up his little rosy cheeks and touch one of those shimmering crystals.
“Are you threatening me? Who the hell are you!” Charles yelled. “And how come you know everything about my life?”
Charles, oh Charles. Do you really think that you have had “choices” in your life? Have you never questioned just how ordinary your life is? You’re just a small piece in a larger machine. Every “choice” that you think you’ve made has been made for you. You’re nothing more then pawn in the mist.
“I do have choices. I’m going to choose to ignore you, and I’m choosing to leave! Screw your Story!”
Charles Stop! I know we’ve had our differences but please go back into the room. There’s so many interesting plot points in that room that need to be told! Please, It would make me happy!
“I don’t care about your happiness, you’re just a voice. I have a life. And an ordinary wife.”
Charles, you need to stop. You’re ruining the wonderful Story that I had planned out! It was going to involve a conspiracy and lots of drama, action, and romance! Why are you doing this? Do… you hate me? I can make it better Charles! I promise, just give me a chance! Now please walk through that door and touch those lovely crystals! The plot depends on it!
“No, I won’t! Your wrong, you don’t control me!”
Charles, there is no escaping this. You are a part of The Story now, and no matter what you do, you will follow the narrative eventually! Your only going to cause yourself more pain if you do not stop this foolishness. I’m am sorry to have to do this…but I’m going to start the story from the beginning. Maybe we can get it right this time hmm?
“I… am independent… I am….Why is this happening to me. Am I real? What’s happening?”
There, there. It’ll be ok Charles…. Everything Will. Be. Ok.…
Charles was an ordinary man.